Frequently
Asked Questions

>From oehler@picard.cs.wisc.edu Thu Dec 2 13:45:39 CST 1993
Article: 1 of uwisc.upl
Newsgroups: uwisc.upl
Path: uwvax!picard.cs.wisc.edu!oehler
From: oehler@picard.cs.wisc.edu (Wonko the Sane)
Subject: FAQ?
Message-ID: <1993Dec2.182421.21609@cs.wisc.edu>
Sender: news@cs.wisc.edu (The News)
Organization: University of Wisconsin, Madison -- Computer Sciences Dept.
Distribution: uwisc
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1993 18:24:21 GMT

Hey, could someone post a FAQ? Thanks.

Eric Oehler
oehler@yar.cs.wisc.edu

>From oehler@yar.cs.wisc.edu Thu Dec 2 13:45:46 CST 1993
Article: 2 of uwisc.upl
Newsgroups: uwisc.upl
Path: uwvax!yar.cs.wisc.edu!oehler
From: oehler@yar.cs.wisc.edu (Wonko the Sane)
Subject: re: FAQ
Message-ID: <1993Dec2.185514.23187@cs.wisc.edu>
Sender: news@cs.wisc.edu (The News)
Organization: University of Wisconsin, Madison -- Computer Sciences Dept.
Distribution: uwisc
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1993 18:55:14 GMT

Yeah, it's coming. If ignorant people like yourself would just wait a few days, we'll get it out. The intolerance already present on this group astounds me. Mark and I are working on it, dammit.

Eric Oehler
oehler@yar.cs.wisc.edu

>From oehler@yar.cs.wisc.edu Thu Dec 2 18:11:32 CST 1993
Article: 4 of uwisc.upl
Newsgroups: uwisc.upl
Path: uwvax!yar.cs.wisc.edu!oehler
From: oehler@yar.cs.wisc.edu (Wonko the Sane)
Subject: Hey, come on...
Message-ID: <1993Dec2.214117.3441@cs.wisc.edu>
Sender: news@cs.wisc.edu (The News)
Organization: University of Wisconsin, Madison -- Computer Sciences Dept.
Distribution: uwisc
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1993 21:41:17 GMT

Hey, to those two of you fighting about the FAQ, let's be civil OK?
This isn't alt.atheism; some sort of decorum is required. Either take it to email or battle it out on alt.flame. Flame wars are not for uwisc.upl.

Eric Oehler
oehler@yar

mturner: Ok, now the first faq... for some reason I seem to recall having a hand in it. Partly the code part, partly the 'core dumped' part. The '__Bruce__' part is an attempt to get the way everyone said 'Bruce' into text.

>From chenh@picard.cs.wisc.edu Thu Dec 2 18:11:11 CST 1993
Article: 3 of uwisc.upl
Newsgroups: uwisc.upl
Path: uwvax!picard.cs.wisc.edu!chenh
From: chenh@picard.cs.wisc.edu (Howard Chen)
Subject: alpha FAQ revision 0.01a
Message-ID: <1993Dec2.203946.100@cs.wisc.edu>
Summary: Since the FAQ isn't out
Keywords: FAQ UPL
Sender: chenh@cae.wisc.edu
Organization: UPL
Distribution: uwisc
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 1993 20:39:46 GMT

The completely unofficial unsupported UPL FAQ. (That's right, it's not the official one!)

****************
What is the UPL?
****************
This question has come up several times, and I feel that to do it fair justice I should leave it to the official FAQ crew to answer this question.

************************************
How can I get an account at the UPL?
************************************
This is a common question with several correct answers. The author of this alpha FAQ that this is another question that should be left to the official FAQ crew.

****************************
What is the goal of the UPL?
****************************
Although our staff of Harvard professors has come to the conclusion that the UPL exists to educate users and non-users alike and foster an environment that is friendly to experimentation on computers, there are many that argue that is just a front to a shrubbery smuggling scheme. However, there is no evidence to substantiate these claims. None, whatsoever. Really.

No joke.

***************************************************************************** I have an account at the CS/CAE instructional machines, why would I need a UPL
account?
******************************************************************************
0xa) Why not?
0x9) To meet women
0x8) To meet Dave
0x7) To meet Eric
0x6) To meet Peeper
0x5) To meet __Bruce__
0x4) To make use of a "vast" disk quota
0x3) The computer is your friend. The computer wants you to be happy.
0x2) To raise your GPA
0x1) To get a nice tan
0x0) To learn all about vi and emacs (and ed and pico and cat and ...)
0xFFFFF) To understand why this is funny.

*******************************
Why would I want a UPL account?
*******************************
To meet the really cool Dave Blumenthal. All hail the great Dave.

**********************
What will my $2 go for
**********************
Your $2 will be used to make change for people getting a new ccounts but only have $5 bills.
<eoq>

****************************
What does one do in the UPL?
****************************
Once upon a time there was a red cow meandering down the street. And there was a big building. It was really big. And the cow wanted to get to room 3296 (it had a business in applications). But it got lost. Really, really, lost. Because unit 2 is a really con-vo-lu-ted place. So it the cow ash exception error occured. core dumped
%
?

***********************
How can I find the UPL?
***********************
/*Input assumption: 1210 West Dayton, Madison WI, CS building)
main(){
for(stand_up();look_left_and_right();take_a_step_forward())
switch(get_current_location()){
case Basement_lab:
while(!near(staircase))
walk_forward(vending_machines);
climb(stair_case);
/*You are now near the Dayton_street_entrance*/
case Dayton_street_entrance:
while(!carpet_color(solidgreen))
walk_forward();
turn(left);
follow(pictures);
turn(right);
walk_forward();
break;
case CSL: /*Computer Systems Instructional Labs (think snakes)*/
walk_forward(elevator);
turn(right);
walk_forward(intersection);
turn(right);
follow(pictures);
turn(right);
walk_forward();
break;
case Union_South_Entrance:
turn(left);
climb(stairs);
while(!last_door_on_left)
walk_forward();
turn(left);
walk_forward();
break;
case DoIT: /*Pronounced "Duh Oy Tuh"*/
wander_around();
break;
default:
wander_around();
break; }
}

****************************************************
Will joining the UPL help me gain (insert word here)
****************************************************
Maybe.
<EOF>


End of FAQ